You don't have to fill out painful time spreadsheets if you don't want to.
You don't have to turn in overly complex daily status reports with wild ass guesses as to your "percentage complete" if you don't want to.
You don't have to work on site if you don't want to.
You don't have to write code in VB5. You don't have to work 20 hour days. You don't have to answer your phone at 3 am.
You DO have to figure out what kind of business you want to run. Decide what is a deal breaker to you. Decide what you are willing to do ONLY for LOTS of extra money.
Then you need to tell customers and prospects.
Yes, you may not get some kinds of business. But if you are doing gobs of things you don't want to do, what's the point of being an Indy Coder? And if you can effectively convey your value, you'll find plenty of customers who find these things to be unimportant.
I’ve never once lost business I cared about my saying no to a customer.